repentance

"arghhh..enough, i'm a bad guy. i did big sins. Allah will not accept my repentance." 

"i did mistakes, and i repented but then i repeat the same mistakes over again. i dont think that i have the strength to ask His forgiveness. noo. i'm ashamed to ask Him anymore"

"i'm sinful..." 

googled

JOKE!!! What a joke. khalas..no more excuses. You know what, this is what syaitan do. They whisper those excuses to cut the connection down between you and your Master, Allahu rabb. And letting you be in the state of sinfulness and shamefulness without turning back to Allah. Allahul musta'an.

STAIRS OF REPENTANCE

#1- accept the mistake

#2- be genuinely sincerely regretful (not doing it again)
-make the changes in ourselves
-if u are regretful, there must be some signs of regret and one of those signs is you will not make the mistake again
-stay away with the things that might bring you fall into the syaitan's traps. close all the doors of sins

#3- seek forgiveness to those you made mistakes with

#4- make tawbah with full confidence that He will accept. no doubt! 
-look at the mercy of Allah which is biggest than His punishment. oh Allah

"no one who accepts tawbah and forgives sins except Allah"

Allah will forgive even we don't ask, that is one of His mercy. But yet, as servants we have to ask for forgiveness..-sheykh yawar baig

p/s: such a heavy self-reminder.. :'(