Be strongly firm as firmly standing of Mount Uhud

Some guys would prefer women who cover their awrah 'properly'. But how proper is proper? At least to them? Well, is that the sole focus that potentially-to-be-married women should be considered? Yes indeed it is a good consideration! At least covering awrah is a part of the religion commitment. Yet, it does not just hang or stop there. There should be at least a list of preference or consideration for anyone to get married with. Heh!

Wo..here is A tips for you. Sisters. If you have found a potential guy NOT to be 'dating with' before marriage but to be together after marriage, don't put your level lower. Don't ask that guy whether...

'Should I do this?' 
'Should I be like this?' 
'Do you like if I....' 
'Would you prefer if...'

C'mon, be firm with your stand. With yourself. Your level. Tell the guy that..

'I am this kind of person...
'I want this...'
'I don't like...'
'Here are my principles...'

Be strongly firm as firmly standing of Mount Uhud

Your are not selling yourself sisters. It is not about 'your price' whether should be put it higher or otherwise. It is about being yourself parallel to your stand. your principles. If he accepts you as you are, then glad tiding!

And, this is not about being resistant to chance. Nope! My opinion, if he could accept your stand or principles now, may be he has the similarity with your principles and knowledge as you possess or perhaps more than that. In the future time, I mean after marriage, he would be available to correct you if you have done something wrong and he himself ready to be corrected. InshaAllah. Bi'ithnillahita'ala

After all, your couple (husband/wife) is the reflection of yourself as mentioned by Dr Muhaya. Allah knows the best and may He bless us all.

A love letter

A Love letter from A Muslim Man to the Girl He loves

“if you love me, don’t confess your love to me, this won’t please me and will keep me away! love words don’t attract me. 

If you love me, wait for me and I will knock on your door in the right time. Don’t give me privileges which I don’t deserve. Keep me away from you, and I will approach you. 

If you approach me, I will stay away from you. 

Don’t love me, for I want you ignorant in love. 

I want to teach you love when the right time come and you will be my Halal, only when we are joined together under our Creator’s satisfaction.

Don’t tell me what you feel, don’t give me from your time, don’t push me to lose you. I am a man who won’t accept to see the one he loves committing sins or to live a forbidden love behind the back of her family. I don’t want her to feel guilty and don’t want her heart to suffer.

Put limits to me that I won’t cross, kill me inside you so I won’t grow to kill you.

Preserve what is beautiful inside you. 

I want you innocent, chaste, pure. I want you dear, not easy. 

And then, Only then, I will face everything and will be ready to go through difficulties to get you

How could I be a faithful man to you when I try to break your chastity? 

How would I be faithful to you if I push you to betray your family? 

How could I trust a love which grew under Allah’s wrath ? 

To love you means to protect you, to preserve you not to kill what is beautiful in you.

Don’t be easy because then, I may not value you. 

Don’t love me now, so I won’t hate you! 

My heart wants you and doesn’t want to lose you. 

I don’t want you to be just a passing fancy to me, 

I want you a wife, a lover, the mother of my children, 

I want you to be the one I will spend my whole life with”

*A post to remind me and you*

From my beloved sister in Deen

#11 while you are single

Finally, it is very important to keep in mind that marriage is a beautiful sunnah that should be rejoiced and every Muslim should want to experience this blessing. However, if one doesn't get married because he/she didn't meet a compatible spouse or delays for valid reasons, there is no blame on them. And if we die tomorrow single, Allah will not ask us why we weren't married (for this was His decree) but rest assured that He will certainly ask us about our life and how conscious we were of the other half of our deen.

'Our Lord, Grant us in our spouses and offspring the joy of our eyes, and make us leaders for the righteous'-ameen...^^

rayyan...act upon these!

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#10 while you are single

We should therefore use our time wisely and strive to better the half of our deen that we actually have control over. Seek knowledge at every opportunity, learn the Qur'an even if it's one verse a day, learn about our rich Islamic history and the great personalities that contributed to it, take up a new hobby, read beneficial books, travel, get involved in charity or dawah work, learn a new language etc. Have a fulfilling life before marriage for marriage is not just about being married, but also about how stimulating and blissful this bond should be. And if you are happy single, you will be happier in marriage. But, if you are miserable single, you will be just as miserable in marriage for another person doesn't hold your happiness in their hands. And the Nikkah (marriage) contract does not come with magic potion!

*-* contemplate over this rayyan!
you have to!
you have to!

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#9 while you are single

Despite culture and peer pressures, one shouldn't be afraid or ashamed to be a certain age and single. Imam Ahmad (May Allah Have Mercy on him) married at the age of forty as he wanted to serve his mother in old age and fully commit himself to her. But when he eventually got married, the Imam and his wife lived peacefully with each other. When Umm Salih, his wife, was deceased, he said: ''In the thirty years she was with me, we never had a single word of disagreement.''

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#8 while you are single

If Allah has not written for us to marry in our twenties, thirties or forties, that doesn't mean He is punishing us or He isn't able to find us ONE person from the billions on earth. Rather, due to His wisdom and Mercy, He has delayed for us this blessing in order to give us someone that we deserve and deserves us in return, and at a time that is better than we would have chosen.

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#7 while you are single

Remember that marriage is a provision from Allah just like other things in your life so remain hopeful. Invoke Allah and privately ask Him from His favors and at time where du'as are more like to be accepted; the third part of the night, during prostration, on Fridays between 'Asr and Maghrib or the last hour of the day. Don't just say 'O Allah, bless me with a wife/husband' but be specific by asking Allah to bless you with someone that He is FIRSTLY pleased with and that will become coolness of your eyes. You don't know who will be khayr (good) for you so don't limit yourself to trivial requirements such as asking Allah for a spouse with a particular height, status, race, nationality or lineage. These should not be deciding factors when choosing a companion for the dunya and akhirah.

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#6 while you are single

Don't settle for a brother simply because he has a beard, wears cropped pants and goes to the mosque. Similarly, don't settle for a sister simply because she wears hijab and goes to study circles. These are all important and decent requirements but image can be deceiving and we unfortunately live in a time where people portray an image far from what they truly are. Our duty is to clarify our sources by finding out as much information about a potential spouse as possible. We should also seek Allah's counsel by praying istikhara and making sincere du'a. If someone is not right for us or he/she is portraying an image different to what they actually are, Allah will surely expose them and save us from committing.

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#5 while you are single

During our search for a spouse, we should remain loyal to our standards and not keep lowering them until we no longer have any demands or preferences. Out of desperation and as a last attempt to get married for the sake of getting married.

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#4 while you are single

Marriage is a strong and beautiful union between two people but it should not be a purpose in life. Allah created you so that you should worship Him and whilst obeying your spouse is a form of worship, you need to firstly restore your relationship with the One that created you and strive to uphold His laws before you take on the responsibility of the rights of another human being. Marriage is not a light matter that should be rushed or underestimated. You will have to consider another person in almost everything you do and Allah will bring both of you to account for your treatment of each other.

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#3 while you are single

That day will inshaAllah come but in the meantime, while you are single, do yourself the favour of tending to the other half of your religion. Too often we hear singles saying 'But I want to complete half of my deen!' and ask ourselves, in what state is the other half? The fact that we only know few surahs in the Qur'an, do not know the basic steps of self-purification or are ignorant of the correct way of establishing prayer, yet persist on completing one half of the religion when the other half is clearly neglected, only shows where our priorities lie.

::ya Allah:: :'(

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#2 while you are single

Many of us are concerned about when we will get married or to whom, but such concerns should not consume our daily thoughts for this takes away from more urgent matters, such as our religious and worldly obligations. If you are twenty two years old for example, and Allah had decreed for you marriage at the age of twenty seven, imagine how you would waste a good five years talking and thinking about marriage! Wouldn't that be a misuse of the gift of time?

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#1 while you are single

You could very well be living in a place where marriage is very common and everyone is getting married but you. Equally, you could be in a place where the circumstances make you feel like you will never meet the ideal suitor, but Allah, the Best of Planners, brings to your doorstep the very person you were looking for all along. This is how Allah works; subtly.

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Whom?

For sisters

"If there comes to you one whose religious commitment and akhlaq (manners) pleases you, then marry (your female relative who is under your care) to him, for if you do not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and much corruption" {Sunan Al-Tirmidhi # 1084}

For brothers

"A woman may be married for four reasons; her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e, may you prosper)." {Narrated by al-Bukhari (5090, Muslim (1466))}